Friday, May 20

So much to Process means Blogging Again

I used to journal a lot. I'd journal for hours, several times a week or a month at least. I have book and books of my scribbles saved, taking up valuable space in our small home -- I'm sure they will come in handy one day or two.

When times are really good, or very stressful, or very hectic, I find I don't make the time to write. This past year has been a mixture of all three of those climates! It reminds me of something my Mom told me that Paul Simon said. While I don't have an exact quote, it had to do with only writing songs when sad or depressed.

Now, I find I need to start journaling again. However, it's difficult for me while I have a needy toddler at home. She's not special needs or anything - she's just super-extroverted, and as a Myers-Briggs INTP* I find that being with her just drains my personal energy. I'm working to learn Full Body Presence but it's gonna take a while to get to a point where it's a habit that keeps me from getting drained.
*Technically I'm an XNTP, both I & E sides are strong in different circumstances. The Gemini in me I guess!

...Blogging... makes it easier to journal. I can't be as personal, stream-of-consciousness, as grammatically-whacked, or draw crazy doodles in the margins, but I can get my basic thoughts down in a time efficient manner.

Writing helps me sort and organize the misty clouds of my thoughts, which otherwise bleed together in a big blur of pictures, colors and shapes. On my mind of late:
  • My second quarter-life crisis? Challenges in self-identity
  • Should I take that second job?
  • Do I have to start wearing makeup everyday to teach my daughter self-respect (to overcome my own apparent lack thereof in some areas)?
  • Are my latest creative thoughts worth organizing/sharing?
  • How'm I gonna get my cat enough indoor exercise to stop gnawing on me all the time?


Oooh that dang cat! I love him, but he seriously seems to believe that I'm some kind of chew toy he can attack with abandon. I don't have to do anything to "set him off" (i.e. inappropriate roughhousing, etc.) - he just launches at me, scarring up my arms and putting holes in my clothes....

....But that's a post for another day. =)

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